A little whine with my wine.

Yesterday and today were pretty lousy days. Saturday I did a home test and it was negative, I was a little bummed because I should have been able to turn a home test positive by then, but I was holding out hope. Then came yesterday, bleeding, a lot of bleeding. Not a good sign. Devestated, I went to work and hoped it would stop and all was not lost this time around. I think work helped a little, I had to keep it together around the kids. Shelby sent me flowers and balloons at work to cheer me up. It did cheer me up and it also made me cry. Today I went to the doctor and he confirmed what I already knew, no pregnancy this time around. How you can put three growing little embryos in there and have NOTHING happen is beyond me, but it's not for me to know I guess. He said we could try again with the frozen embryos in December, but the timing was not right. I would need to be there for transfer about the 22nd and we are scheduled to leave for Christmas vacation on December 19th. We are heading over to spend Christmas in the Alps again this year. Shelby's parents are flying in to meet us over there for the holiday, so cancelling the trip to cycle wasn't an option. That puts us into January before we can try again. Frustrating, but what can you do?

The bruises on my stomach have almost healed and the cysts on my ovaries are gone. Now if only I wasn't carting around an extra 15 pounds from the drugs. The negative test hurts. The obscene amount of money out the window hurts a little more. The fact that the only pants in my closet I fit into are damn maternity pants and I'm not even pregnant...yea that sucks.

So, I've been trying to focus on the positive side of the negative results today. Not being pregnant means I'm finally off "pelvic rest" and can get back to business with my man. It's just downright mean to pump a woman full of hormones and then insist she remain abstinent! The second good thing about not being pregnant....wine. Oh how I've missed my dear friend and we've been getting reacquainted all evening. :) Shel and I have already planned every weekend between Thanksgiving and New Years at various Christmas markets around Europe; Belgium, Luxembourg, and several in Germany. A Christmas market just isn't a Christmas market if you aren't out in the freezing cold trying to get warm by drinking God awful tasting hot wine! I won't have to miss out on that now. Another perk to not being knocked up right now, skiing in the Alps this winter. I'm sure I could come up with a few more positives if I'd put down my wine glass long enough to be able to really concentrate, but where's the fun in that?