Those aren't fireworks, Mommy is breathing fire!

Today was a total disaster. The plan was to go see a movie, grab a quick playtime at the park to burn off some energy, and then head over to the deployed family BBQ on base. We got to the movie theater and the only two kids movies showing are Cars 2 (which I knew would be insanely packed out being a holiday and all) and Rio (which Colin has already seen but loved). We waited in line for about 20 minutes to get to the counter and were told that the Rio film was damaged and they were hoping to have it repaired in time for the 4:45 showing. Uh-oh. Cars 2 had already sold out a few minutes before we got to the counter too. Not good. Colin was NOT pleased as he waited all that time and thought we were going to the movies. I still bought him popcorn, but he was a little upset about having to leave the theater and not getting to see a movie. Great, we have 4 hours until the BBQ starts and nothing to do.

I took Colin to the little playground inside the BX and he ran around and played for a while. Then he wanted a quarter for the candy machines. Instead of asking me for money he helped himself to my purse and took out my wallet, then ran off with it when I asked him to give it back. Since he didn’t listen and come back and I had to chase him down and pry the wallet from his hands he was not getting a quarter for the machine. Well that did not go over well AT ALL. He threw a fit. Not just any fit, a screaming mad fit where he hit me and tried to rip my purse off my shoulder. So now, not only was he getting no candy, we were also leaving the play area. Well that sent him into a RAGE. There was no way I was getting his shoes on, so I shoved them in his backpack and threw him over my shoulder. He screamed bloody murder, like horrible scary movie kind of shrieks, while kicking and hitting. The closer we got to the door the madder he got. I always park in the very back of the lot for exercise so I had a half mile to walk with the kid flailing and screaming. I got my workout and then some trying to hold him down and keep him from wriggling out of my arms and being dropped on his head. Which I half contemplated at this point. I’ve never seen any kid so mad nor have such a public fit, he was out of control and screamed he didn’t want to leave the play place the whole way to the car. When we got to the car I had to wrestle him into the car seat and I told him I was sorry but he does not act that way. Ever. That he had to leave because he threw a fit, screamed at me and hit me. He calmed down in the car, I think he was completely worn out to be honest, I know I was, and I was able to take him to the post office to check the mail.

Since he was good and cooperated at the PO getting mail and packages picked up I took him to Burger King for a shake to kill more time until the BBQ. He was in a better mood at this point and things were going well. He noticed the straw wrappers on the table and asked if he could go throw them away. I told him yes and he went off to throw them out and got distracted. I noticed he took more than a few seconds to throw them out and come back so I got up to go check and I came around the side of the trash can just in time to see him squeeze the handle of the fire extinguisher on the wall and spray stuff everywhere. A huge cloud of powder/smoke stuff shot out and rolled through the restaurant. Why me? It scared him and he could see I was trying not to kill him so he quickly ran over to me and I walked him back to our table. The manager was not amused in the slightest, but the two guys she called from the back to clean up the mess thought it was pretty funny and were quite impressed he was actually strong enough to squeeze the trigger. In Colin’s defense, what exactly is a fire extinguisher doing that low to the ground where a kid can reach anyway? It was mounted to the wall just a few inches above the baseboard and Colin stood taller standing next to it. Still, he should have had the good sense not to touch it! I made Colin go apologize to the men who had to clean up the mess. He was scared of them and didn’t want to go, but I told him too bad. So he went over there crying and apologized. At this point I decided a BBQ was just not in anyone’s best interest today. At the rate we were going Colin would probably blow up the park or something. I called in a burger at Chili’s for take-out and called it a night. I can’t wait to put the kid to bed and have a bottle glass of wine.