Can I call you stupid?

If you've tried calling us you might have noticed that our phone doesn't work. We use a VOIP through a provider called Lingo. For you technology challenged folks that means our phone runs through our internet connection. Our internet connection is just fine but our phone isn't getting a dial tone. This happens from time to time and usually you unplug the little power cord from the phone modem thing and let it sit for a while to reset, plug it back in and voila, problem solved. This time...not so much. So after trying a hundred times to reset the stupid thing I write to Lingo.Here is how the conversation goes:

Me: I am having trouble with my service, I am not getting a dial tone. I have tried resetting my box with no success. Please reply to this email with another solution suggestion since I cannot call tech support because my phone doesnt work.

Lingo: Thank you for contacting Lingo. Please follow the steps below to reset your router...(insert steps here). If this does not work please call technical support at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Me: Thank you for replying, as I said in my initial email I have reset my router with no success. Please tell me what other steps I can take to correct the problem as this does not solve it. Also, as previously stated, my phone does not work so I cannot call tech support, please respond via email with suggestions. Thank you.

Lingo: Mrs. Goetzman, it seems as though your problem requires more advanced trouble shooting. Please call technical support at xxx-xxx-xxxx 24 hours a day for help resolving your issue.

Oh My God! SERIOUSLY?!?! Do they even READ the email or do they just reply with some cookie cutter response. What part of I reset my router and it didn't work and I do not have a phone didn't sink in? At this rate I don't know that I'll ever get my phone back! So if you are trying to reach us, email is the preferred method of communication at the moment.