Day 18 Monte Carlo

Monaco Port

Waking up in Monte Carlo was like waking up in a dream. Some ports you can’t dock in and the ships have to anchor just outside of port and you take a small boat, or tender, from your ship to the dock. That is how it works in Monte Carlo, so we were out in the bay a little bit rather than being right up next to the land, which makes the view that much prettier from the boat. Monaco is the second smallest country in the world, behind the Vatican (which we’ll visit later!), but has a high population and tons of money. First thing we noticed about Monte Carlo was the H.E.A.T. It was HOT, I think perhaps unusually hot when we were there. Today we had booked a tour through the cruise that took us to the French cities of Nice and Eze. We got on the bus and right away the tour guide started annoying us (and most of the people on the bus). She went on and on about stuff that didn’t really matter and then told the same dumb stories at least three times each. She did not work for the cruise line, she is a private tour guide that just does the tours they set up, and trust me when I say, she was awful. Other people on the tour were thoroughly irritated with her too. Regardless we were stuck on the tour, so, on we went. First stop was Nice (pronounced like niece) and after the stupid tour guide finally stopped flapping her jaws and wasting our time telling us where the toilet was at least a half dozen times, we set off to walk through a market and walk down the beach on the French Riviera. We had to be fairly fast since time was limited. Even though it was hot as heck out there we stopped for a quick cappuccino at a café and then it was back to the bus. There were a ridiculous amount of tour busses in the area today creating a nice traffic jam that took us some time to get through when we came into and left the parking lot in Nice. We got on the bus at 11 to head over to the next stop on the tour for the day, Eze. We were almost there when traffic came to a standstill just short of the parking lot where the busses park and then the tours walk the rest of the way up the hill to Eze. We sat on the bus for a while and then the tour guide got off to run up ahead and see what was going on. We could see lots of black smoke coming from just up the hill and it turns out the fire was actually a bus that caught fire right in the parking lot where our bus had to park. We didn’t have any details but the tour guide called the ship who told her to return to the boat and there was no way we would be completing the stop in Eze. After our amazing bus driver did a three point turn in the middle of a small two lane highway that was literally on the side of a mountain we were on our way. I can’t believe he did it in only three points…I seriously thought it would be 5 or more! The entire bus applauded when he finished making the turn, lol. While Shel and I were disappointed we weren’t getting to see Eze, we were happy to be off the bus with annoying tour guide sooner. Then it happened. She said that instead of heading back to the port she could drive us around Monte Carlo on the bus and point out some things and have us back to the port at our regularly scheduled return time of 2 PM. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A few people, including us, promptly asked if we could just get off the bus in Monte Carlo, do our own walking tour and then walk back to the place where you take the tender back to our ship. She gave some ridiculous answer about it being a legal thing and she has to return us to where she picked us up and such, so no, we couldn’t just get off. So we’d been on the bus since 11 and we were supposed to get off and have time to eat and walk around in Eze, but since we never made it to Eze we were held captive on the bus three hours driving around looking at crap we didn’t care about and listening to the stupid tour guide tell us the same stories three times apiece. Shoot. Me. NOW! Thank God Colin had fallen asleep in my lap shortly after getting back on the bus at 11, because trying to contain a three year old on your lap for three hours with no food or toys would have been a nightmare. As soon as we got back to the boat we made sure to go to the excursion desk and complain about the terrible tour guide, and the fact that our tour was NOT what we had signed up for. I understand the bus catching fire and us not being able to make it into Eze was out of their control, but at that point they should have returned us to the port and let us do what we wanted. Not force us to stay on the bus starving and bored as we drive around in circles in Monte Carlo when that was never part of the tour itinerary we signed up for. The ship looked into it and refunded us 75% of what we paid to take that excursion. So I guess it was ok. We later found out that the bus that caught fire was a tour from our boat. I think they were doing the same tour we were, thank goodness that wasn’t us! Apparently the bus had just parked when it just burst into flames and the people on the bus barely had enough time to get off. No one was hurt, but I heard about a lady whose purse got stuck on the arm of the chair and she couldn’t fiddle with it to get it loose in time so she had to leave it behind and all her ID, passports, money, bank cards, etc… were inside. Oh man talk about nightmare! I was overjoyed to be back on the air conditioned ship after literally sweating off 10 lbs walking around Monte Carlo (and I don’t sweat…it takes a lot of hot to make me sweat!) We were happy to relax on the boat and enjoy dinner and drinks that night.